Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
