it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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