we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
