Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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