Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
