Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
