Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
