508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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