wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
