That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
