When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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