Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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