I'm gonna have a badass scar
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
