Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
