He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
