is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
