I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize