I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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