She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
