4 words: hood of his car
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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