I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
