Sry I called you an 8
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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