Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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