if i died would you start the facebook group?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Please don't give away my fajitas
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
