So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
