Banned from zoo.
Again?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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