I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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