You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
