the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
