butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
