Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
