so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
