that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
