i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
