Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
