It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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