I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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