i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize