you would pick up someone in the library
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
