I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
