Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
