I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize