Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
