Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
