someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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