just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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