ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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