This dress was meant to end up on your floor
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
