Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
