i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
