I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
