It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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