So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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