Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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