Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
