oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize