mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
