There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
