He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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