Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I am naked and annoyed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
