Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Randomize
