He told me they were just razor bumps!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
